This t-shirt features a bold, retro-inspired design starring a clean-cut 1950s dad in full suburban alpha mode khakis, tucked polo, and a beer in hand. He’s pointing at a chalkboard in the backyard like he’s laying down gospel, with the hand-lettered phrase front and center: “Ain’t No Candy-Ass Energy in This Household.” The style is classic mid-century Americana with a modern bite equal parts wholesome and unhinged. Perfect for anyone who mows their lawn like it’s a battlefield and considers emotional repression a family tradition.
Product features - Without side seams for a smoother look and reduced fabric waste - Ribbed collar maintains shape and elasticity - Shoulder tape adds stability and prevents stretching - 100% ring-spun cotton fabric for ultimate comfort - Made with ethically sourced materials ensuring quality and care.
Care instructions - Do not dryclean - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat - Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors
